Equipment

What exists, what it is for, and how to use it without getting hurt.

You do not need to buy anything to start: a hand, a scarf, a feather or an ice cube are enough for a great deal. This page shows what comes next, from the gentlest to the most intense, with, for each item, how to start and what you need to know about safety. It sells nothing and names no brands.

Before you buy

Start with what you have.
Your hand, a scarf, a feather, an ice cube: none of these needs buying, and they are often the most stirring.
Buy little, and only after talking about it.
One item chosen together, after a questionnaire such as the Portrait, is more use than a whole box bought in advance.
Prefer what can be cleaned.
Silicone, metal and glass can be cleaned thoroughly. Leather, untreated wood, feathers and rope cannot: those items stay with a single person.
Scissors first.
As soon as anyone is tied, even with a scarf, round-tipped scissors are within reach.

Sensations

Brushing the skin, surprising, playing with hot and cold. This is often where people start, including in a vanilla relationship, and many of these items are already at home.

Oil painting: a long red feather lying on red velvet

Intensity : Gentle

Feather, feather dustertickler

An ostrich feather or a small feather duster drawn slowly over the skin: shivers, tickles, and above all anticipation.

To start: With a blindfold, the effect is much stronger, because you do not know where the feather will go next.
Safety: A feather cannot really be washed: keep it for the same person.
Without buying anything: A soft paintbrush, a silk scarf, your fingertips.

Oil painting: a black satin mask and a folded silk scarf on a wooden table

Intensity : Gentle

Blindfoldeye mask, sleep mask

Taking away sight makes everything else sharper: sound, touch, anticipation. It is the simplest accessory and one of the most widely used.

To start: A sleep mask does the job. Keep some contact, a hand resting on them or your voice, so the other person knows where you are.
Safety: Being deprived of sight can also cause anxiety: the blindfold comes off at once if the person asks.
Without buying anything: A sleep mask, a soft scarf.

Oil painting: a crystal bowl full of ice cubes and a silver spoon on red velvet

Intensity : Gentle

Ice cubes, cold metaltemperature play, ice play

An ice cube melting slowly, a spoon straight out of the freezer: cold surprises far more than it hurts.

To start: Alternate with warm breath or a lukewarm cup: it is the contrast that does it.
Safety: Never leave an ice cube sitting still on the skin, and no ice on mucous membranes.
Without buying anything: Everything is already in the kitchen.

Oil painting: a red candle surrounded by drops of wax and a lit massage candle in a metal tin

Intensity : Firm

Massage candle, play candlewax play, low-temperature candle

Two kinds. A massage candle melts into a warm oil that you then spread on the skin. A low-temperature play candle drips wax that sets in drops on the skin.

To start: Start with the massage candle: the sensation is gentle and the moment carries on as a massage.
Safety: Only candles made for this purpose, never a decorative candle, whose wax can be much hotter. Test a drop on your own forearm, pour from a height, and never on the face or mucous membranes.

Oil painting: a steel Wartenberg wheel, a small spiked wheel at the end of a long handle, on red velvet

Intensity : Firm

Wartenberg wheelpinwheel, neuro wheel

A neurologist’s instrument put to another use: a small spiked wheel on the end of a handle, rolled over the skin. It prickles without injuring, and it electrifies.

To start: Press very lightly, on the inside of the arms, the back or the thighs, and let the person tell you how far to go.
Safety: Not on the face, mucous membranes or damaged skin. Clean it with alcohol after use, and keep one per person if it may have scratched the skin.

Oil painting: two gold-toned clover clamps joined by a chain, on red velvet

Intensity : Firm

Clampsclips, tweezer clamps

Spring clamps or clamps with a sliding ring, often joined by a chain, that adjust from the gentlest to the firmest.

To start: Set them to the gentlest setting and try them first on the pad of your finger, to feel the pressure.
Safety: Only briefly at first: the sensation is often sharpest when they come off, as the blood returns. Never on damaged skin.
Without buying anything: A wooden clothes peg, the ancestor of all the others.

Impact

The hand remains the first tool and the most precise: it feels what it gives. Implements change the sensation, from heavy and warming to thin and stinging. All of them are aimed at fleshy areas, the buttocks, the upper thighs and the upper back, never the kidneys, the spine, the joints, the back of the neck or the belly (see impact safety). Impact safety

Oil painting: a flogger with a black handle and suede tails spread out on red velvet

Intensity : Firm

Floggermartinet, cat-o’-nine-tails

A handle and a bunch of tails, in suede, leather or rubber. Broad suede caresses and warms; thin leather and knotted tails bite more.

To start: First let the tails slide over the skin, then give light, regular strokes on the upper back or the buttocks.
Safety: The tails must not wrap around the body: their tips would reach the ribs or the belly. Keep to the upper back, never the kidneys.

Oil painting: a black stitched leather paddle and a small wooden paddle on a table

Intensity : Firm

Paddlespanking paddle

A paddle in leather, wood or silicone: a broad, dull sensation that warms up quickly. Padded leather is the gentlest; wood marks more quickly.

To start: Light strokes, alternating with your hand to feel the warmth of the skin.
Safety: The buttocks and the upper thighs only. Wood and rigid materials quickly leave bruises.

Oil painting: a black riding crop with a leather tip lying diagonally on red velvet

Intensity : Firm

Riding cropcrop

A flexible shaft ending in a small leather tab. Very precise: you can rest it on the skin, tap, or snap it sharply.

To start: Tap, to surprise rather than to hurt. A crop is also used to guide a movement or a posture.
Safety: Only the tab should touch the skin, not the shaft. Avoid bony areas.

Oil painting: a thin golden rattan cane lying on its own on a wooden table

Intensity : Intense

Canerattan, rod

A thin rod of rattan or synthetic material. The sensation is sharp, drawn in a line, and leaves marks that can last several days.

To start: Only for people who already know impact play, after talking it through. Start with very light touches.
Safety: The buttocks only, and a check of the skin between each set. A split or splintered cane gets thrown away.

Ties and restraints

Being held, prevented from moving. All restraints follow the same rule: two fingers must be able to slide between the restraint and the skin, scissors are within reach, and a person who is tied is never left alone. The details are in Rope and nerves. Rope and nerves

Oil painting: a red silk scarf, a necktie and a black ribbon draped over a bedpost

Intensity : Gentle

Scarf, necktie, ribbonsoft bondage

Almost everyone’s first restraint: knotted loosely, undone in one movement, and it already changes the atmosphere.

To start: Wrists held above the head, knotted without tightening, are enough.
Safety: Silk tightens when pulled and is hard to undo: knot it loosely, and keep scissors within reach.
Without buying anything: A scarf, a necktie, a dressing-gown belt.

Oil painting: two wide padded leather cuffs joined by a silver carabiner

Intensity : Gentle

Leather cuffs, soft handcuffsrestraints

Wide, padded cuffs, fastened with a buckle or Velcro, with a ring to join them. They spread the pressure much better than thin rope.

To start: Join them with a carabiner: it opens with one hand, in a second.
Safety: Metal handcuffs concentrate the pressure on a small area and can compress the nerves of the wrist: avoid them for more than a few minutes.

Oil painting: the corner of a bed with red sheets, from which a black strap ending in a cuff emerges

Intensity : Firm

Under-bed restraintsbed straps, under-mattress straps

Straps that run under the mattress and end in cuffs: wrists and ankles are attached to the corners of the bed without screwing anything in.

To start: Leave some slack: with the arms stretched as far as they go, the shoulders tire quickly.
Safety: Check the hands often. Tingling, cold or a change of colour: untie.

Oil painting: a steel bar with a black leather cuff at each end, on red velvet

Intensity : Firm

Spreader barleg spreader, ankle spreader

A rigid bar with a cuff at each end, which keeps the ankles or the wrists apart.

To start: Choose an adjustable one, to match the spread to each person’s flexibility.
Safety: With a bar at the ankles, you cannot catch yourself if you fall: never standing without support.

Oil painting: a half-unrolled roll of shiny red tape, next to a pair of scissors

Intensity : Gentle

Bondage tapePVC tape, self-cling tape

A flexible plastic tape that sticks only to itself: it pulls neither on the skin nor on hair, and can be reused.

To start: A few loose turns around the wrists or ankles, over clothing if you prefer.
Safety: It does not stretch: never wrap it tight. Cut it with scissors rather than tearing it. Never on the face or around the neck.

Oil painting: a black leather collar with a silver ring and a coiled leash on red velvet

Intensity : Gentle

Collar and leashlead

More symbolic than restrictive: the collar speaks of a bond, a role, a chosen belonging; the leash guides.

To start: The collar is worn loose enough to slip two fingers underneath. Many people wear it only for the length of a scene.
Safety: A collar never tightens, and a leash is never pulled: it is held, not drawn taut.

The basic shibari kit

Shibari, Japanese-inspired rope bondage, needs little equipment, but it has to be good. Here is what a starter kit contains, complete enough to show you what exists. It does not replace a workshop: placements that spare the nerves are learnt in person, with someone there to show you. Rope and nerves

Oil painting: skeins of golden jute rope lined up on a wooden table

Jute or hemp ropenatural fibre rope, asanawa

The traditional ropes. Jute is light, a little rough, and holds knots well; hemp is denser and softer. Most rope sold for shibari is 6 mm in diameter and 7 to 8 m long¹.

To start: For simple harnesses, two or three ropes are enough; for more complete ties, count on four to six instead¹. Buy them already treated: raw jute has to be washed, dried under tension, singed and oiled.

Oil painting: skeins of white and red cotton rope on red velvet

Cotton or synthetic ropepractice rope, MFP rope

Softer, washable and cheaper: ideal for learning and for sensitive skin. It slips more, and knots hold a little less well.

Safety: Synthetic rope slides quickly over the skin and can cause friction burns: untie without pulling it through all at once.

Oil painting: trauma shears with black handles and an angled, round-tipped blade, next to a rope

Safety shearsEMT shears, trauma shears

Round-tipped scissors, like the ones first-aiders use: they cut a rope without any risk of stabbing the skin. They are the most important item in the kit.

To start: Test them on your own rope before the first session: some struggle with thick jute.
Safety: Within reach throughout the session, not at the bottom of a bag.

Oil painting: a bamboo pole, two steel rings and a coil of rope on a wooden floor

Ring, bambooO-ring, bamboo pole

Accessories for more advanced ties: a steel ring joins several ropes, and a bamboo pole serves as a support for floor ties and gives very graphic lines.

Safety: These accessories are also used for suspension, which cannot be learnt alone or from a website: only in a workshop, with equipment designed for it.

Oil painting: a tin of wax, a bottle of oil and a cloth next to a jute rope

Rope carerope maintenance, rope conditioning

Jute rope needs feeding now and then with a little oil or wax, to stay supple. It is stored coiled, somewhere dry.

Safety: A rope that is fraying, getting thinner or has been in contact with blood gets replaced.

Toys

No toy is necessary, but some cards mention them. The essentials come down to three rules: materials that can be cleaned, a suitable lubricant, and a flared base for anything that goes into the anus.

Oil painting: a small amber glass bottle and a folded white cloth on a wooden table

Intensity : Gentle

Lubricantlube, personal lubricant

It makes everything gentler and safer, especially for the anus, which produces no lubrication of its own. You need more than you think, and you top it up without waiting.

To start: A water-based lubricant goes with all toys and condoms. A silicone-based one lasts longer, but damages silicone toys.
Safety: Never a numbing lubricant for anal play: pain is a signal you don’t silence. Oils weaken the latex in condoms.

Oil painting: a long-handled ivory massager resting on dark velvet

Intensity : Gentle

Vibratorwand, massager

A vibration held against the body, through fabric or on the skin. Small models fit in the hand; “wands”, which are larger, are also more powerful.

To start: The lowest intensity first, through fabric, then turn it up slowly: the body gets used to it quickly, in either direction.
Safety: Silicone or hard plastic, no porous materials. A model that is not waterproof does not go under the tap: wipe it with a suitable cleaner.

Oil painting: a small black teardrop-shaped object with a wide base, resting on a velvet cushion

Intensity : Firm

Anal plugbutt plug

A short toy, designed to stay in place, with a flared base that stops it slipping inside. It is worn for a few minutes or longer, at home or under your clothes.

To start: The smallest size, in silicone, plenty of water-based lubricant, and time: breathe, force nothing.
Safety: Always a flared base: no household object goes into the anus. Two hours at most to begin with. Sharp pain or bleeding stops everything, and bleeding that persists should be seen by a doctor. A toy that has been used anally is washed before it goes anywhere else.

Oil painting: a small pink silicone pebble and a phone turned face down on silk fabric

Intensity : Firm

Wearable toy, app-controlled toyremote vibrator, long-distance toy

A small vibrator that slips into underwear or is worn inside, often controlled through an app: the other person can switch it on remotely, from the other side of town.

To start: At home first, for an hour, to find out whether it stays in place, whether it can be heard and what it does.
Safety: Read the privacy settings: some apps send data or keep a history. Outside, it stays switched off: a vibration that can be heard draws strangers into the game. Never while driving.

The care kit

It costs almost nothing and comes in useful every time, whatever the practices. The body, aftercare and drop

Oil painting: a bottle of water, chocolate, fruit, tissues and scissors on a red blanket

Aftercare essentialscomfort kit, care kit

Water, something sweet, a blanket, tissues, wipes, a little cream, plasters and compresses, scissors. And, depending on the practices, condoms, gloves and lubricant.

To start: Prepare it beforehand, within reach: after an intense scene, nobody wants to go looking for a blanket.
Safety: With silicone toys, use a water-based lubricant: silicone lubricant can damage them.

Portrait
To choose together what is worth trying, before buying anything at all.
Safety
The general rules, red flags and the areas to avoid in impact play.
Rope and nerves
Where the nerves run, how to check during a tie, what to do if things go wrong.
Resources
Rope workshops and places to learn in person.

Source

Anna Bones, n.d. “How many ropes do I need? Basic Guide for Beginners”. Shibari Store (guide by a rope seller). link

Four illustrations are painted from photos on Wikimedia Commons, so that the objects are accurate: the wheel, the clamps, the crop and the shears. Sources: Wartenbergwheel.jpg (CC BY-SA 3.0), Clover nipple clamps.JPG (Balzac, GFDL), Riding crop 1.jpeg (OwenX, CC BY 3.0), Trauma-shears.jpg (CC0). These derived images are shared under the same licences.